Doing too much for your kids? To most parents, it doesn’t seem to make much sense. How in the world could you ever to too much for the people you love? You want nothing more than to be the greatest parents and provide the world to your children, but you could be over-doing it.
Believe it or not, doing the most for your kids can hinder their ability to be independent. They become so dependent upon their parents and others to take care of their responsibilities, that they don’t see a need to do things on their own. Unfortunately, this means they also lack key skills and abilities they’ll need to survive as adults. Not to mention, if you’re busy doing everything, it eats away at your own well-being.
Have you crossed the line? Are you doing so much for your children that it’s hindering them and you? Below are a few signs to watch out for.
Do you find that even when you manage to get the sleep you still feel drained throughout the day? You’re fatigued because you’re trying to take on everyone’s responsibilities. You’re spending every waking moment not only living your life but managing your children’s’. Naturally, your mind and body run out of energy and you find yourself slumped over every chance you get.
It’s really time to allow your children and your support system to pitch in and help out with various tasks. If you’ve been feeling especially fatigued try sleeping in to catch up on your zzz’s, drinking beverages high in vitamin c, or talking with your doctor about difficulties sleeping.
What happens when you do everything for your children no matter how old they are? You end up resenting them. You’re tired but have developed a bad habit that you feel compelled to continue. Even as they become old enough and capable of carrying out things for themselves, chances are they’d rather mom and dad do it for them. This causes you to become frustrated as you begin to feel overworked and used.
It’s crazy how you can end up resenting your children even though you’re the one who chooses to do everything for them. If you’ve gotten to this point, however, it can break down your relationships. Therefore, it’s imperative to have a discussion and slowly start making your kids responsible for their own lives as they get older.
Stress and Anxiety
Parents who do everything for their kids end up stressed out and anxious all the time. You’re stressed likely because you’ve bitten off more than you can chew and anxious because you feel as if you can’t fail and don’t have much help.
Stress and anxiety seem to go hand in hand with parenting, but only to a point. If you’re starting to show physical and psychological signs of stress or anxiety, you need to find ways to relax. Schedule an appointment to lay on one of those massage therapy tables and get a good rub down. Take a mini-vacation. Or ask your parents to watch the kids for the weekend while you unwind.
Your Kids are Lazy
If you’re doing too much for your children it will show up in their behavior. Chances are they’ve become resistant to doing anything for themselves. Instead, they’d rather let mom or dad do it and will often act out or even pretend to be helpless just for someone else to do the job.
It’s going to take time to get your kids to do things for themselves, but you have to start somewhere. Start giving them small tasks to carry out. As they complete them, be sure to show how proud you are that they’ve done it without your help. This will encourage them to continue.
If you’re overdoing it with your kids, chances are you don’t have much time to focus on your own life. Things you want and need to do go on the backburner.
You have to live your own life. Go out with friends, pencil in some me time, pick up new hobbies, advance in your career, and experience the world around you.
Children are so precious. As their parents, you want nothing more than to provide them with the best life has to offer. You want to be there in every aspect and enrich their lives. Yet, as your children get older you have to let go of the reigns and allow them to be the independent individuals you’d want them to be. If you’ve noticed your life in the above signs, start taking steps towards lightening your own load.
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*This is a collaborative post