Hello and welcome to week 3 of New Mum Stories. I am so glad I thought up this little series while I was having a shower one morning. I’m loving reading all these fantastic little stories that are sent to me.
This week I’m featuring Hayley from The Little Things In Life. Who gives us advice on following your instinct with your own baby. Deciding what’s best for you.
Over to you Hayley.
I’m Hayley and I blog over at www.hayleyslittlethings.com
and write all about things lifestyle, primarily parenting. I have two children; Daisy 2 years old and Alex 2 months!
As a first time mum (and dad!) you are thrown so much advice to supposedly help you through parenthood, more than likely throughout your whole child’s life but a whole bucket load when they are tiny. Advice like don’t let your baby go longer than 3 hours before feeding, don’t give them a dummy, you must do baby lead weaning, baby to sleep in your room until at least 6 month, no co sleeping, the list goes on.
It can be overwhelming. And patronising. And not allow you to find your own way with being a parent.
Health visitors are assigned early on and you see them quite a bit in the first few months, or at least I did the first time around and actually come to think about it second time too.
The main reason being Daisy took some time to get back to birth weight, again her progress wasn’t conforming to a line they had in a book! Frustrating and not particularly encouraging. Alex had no issues in the weight gain department so I’m not sure why we saw them so often this time too!
When pregnant they push the breast feeding and it’s apparently the thing to be doing yet when you do in those first few weeks the pressure they put on you is ridiculous. There is no time to find your feet and adapt to it for you or your little one. Now I’m not saying if your baby was losing and losing and not gaining there shouldn’t be intervention but in my case, and a lot others I’ve heard of this wasn’t necessary. So to be told we may need to look at “options” with feeding was really disappointing.
I stuck to my guns though luckily with advice from family and friends and knew my baby was healthy as she was gaining steadily and so content. I’d have known if she was hungry and in need of something more. It’s as if they don’t allow for instinct, it’s all about records.
This isn’t to slate health visitors as I quite like mine but when it comes to feeding I have found the system they have to follow to be frustrating. And it doesn’t stop there with feeding.
When they get to weaning age, no earlier than 6 months!!! I’m sure there’s some research behind it all around immature tummies but a few years ago it was 4 months and it certainly wasn’t all about baby led weaning. The idea that spoon feeding is force feeding (their words not mine!!) I found a little irrational! I think you know your own baby and when they are ready they are ready.
Sleeping is another one. So they have to stay in your room for six months? I bet a lot of people including myself don’t have the room for a cot in their bedroom. Once Daisy had outgrown her basket at 13/14 weeks ish she was in her big girls bed, in her room. Bad mum! She still sleeps like a dream and I hear every peep as I’m only next door.
Daisy has not been one to sleep in our bed much, the odd night when she was going through a leap or poorly and we’ve had the odd hour in a morning. But I can see why people co sleep, you all need your sleep! There are guidelines out there for safe co sleeping.
There are so many other random people that throw in advice too, oh don’t give her a dummy (I’ll give her a dummy if I flipping want to and it settles her), don’t let her nap in an afternoon, you need to feed her more bottles, basically do what you please and don’t listen to all of it chucked your way. Take away the bits you want and don’t dwell on the other bits.
I think second time round I had this mind set earlier on and I was far more relaxed in the early days, and dare I say it but I probably enjoyed it that little bit more.
Not such a moany post but one just to tell new mums that they can follow their own instincts, they know baby best and can make their own choices. Read the advice and adapt it to fit to your own way 🙂
Lots of love,
Thanks Hayley for your New Mum Story.
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