Hello and welcome back to New Mum Stories. This week I have the pleasure of sharing Sarah’s New Mum Story from Mum & Mor. Sarah is a wonderful ex-pat blogger in Denmark.
Over to You Sarah….
I stared down at it. My eyes darted to the box, then it, the pregnancy test. Yes it was positive, no doubt about it. Still, I was in total denial and wanted a second opinion.
“Erm… so is this a positive or negative result, love?”, I asked quietly – mouse-like, and my voice quavered too. M, my boyfriend (now husband) was playing World of Warcraft, a computer game, and was in the middle of an important fight against a boss. He glanced at the test and I placed the box with the diagram next to it.
I knew. I knew the moment I saw that second line appear, but I couldn’t accept it at the time. M knew it as soon as he set eyes on the test.
I started trembling. The last time I experienced such a sensation was when I found out that my grandfather died. However, I didn’t feel like I had been stabbed this time. Tears flowed and M held onto me tightly. His game was out of mind.
“This can’t be happening right now. I’ve only been in the damn country for 2 months!”, I thought to myself. I was incredibly worried. We weren’t ready! We had just started life together as a cohabiting couple. What if I would be a crap mum? What if we couldn’t afford it? So many questions, even more doubts. Abortion was mentioned, but it wouldn’t be the choice we made in the end.
What followed was a high-risk pregnancy, numerous expensive visits to a hospital over an hour’s drive away, family services getting involved due to our mental health issues, and lots of self-doubt, tears and anxiety. It was enough to break me. Had this happened years ago, it may well have done so.
I’m still here and I’m fine. My daughter arrived on an early, cool March morning. The birth was straightforward and other than my epidural failing, straightforward. 6 months on and things are going better. Family services have backed off, my daughter attends daycare and I have returned to language school.
In those early days of pregnancy, I had little hope. I constantly doubted my abilities as a future mother. I worried for my beloved and how he would cope with being a father. Money is tight, but I hope to return to work someday. We’re getting by.
My worst critic has been myself. Despite the hardships, I got through it all with the help of my little family.
I’m on a new adventure. I have a new family. Alongside my husband, my daughter and our beloved dog, I can take on the world. I feel newfound strength.
If you’re in doubt of yourself, if you feel there’s no hope, please do keep going. Take little steps, take each day as it comes. You can do it. You’d be surprised at what you can achieve. If you live life in fear of change, then you may miss out on some wonderful experiences.
I’m a new mum and it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.
Thanks Sarah for sharing your New Mum Story. Good Luck at language school!
You can follow Sarah here on her Social Media channels.
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