Whether you’re saying goodbye to a close friend or a family member, grief can be incredibly overwhelming.
However, while your love for that person will never go away, there are plenty of steps that you can take to make any pain or sadness feel a little more manageable. This way, you’ll be able to smile each time you think about them, as opposed to feeling upset.
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
With that in mind, here are some strategies that you may find useful when it comes to coping with loss and grief.
Allow yourself to grieve
It is normal to want to show up for those around you when experiencing loss or grief. After all, whether you’re trying to support your child or friend, putting their feelings first allows you to ‘ignore’ or run away from your own complicated emotions. However, this will not serve you well in the long-run.
This is because complex emotions, such as anger and sadness, need to be worked through for you to be able to move on from them. As such, it is important that you give yourself time and space to grieve. Otherwise, you’ll find that these emotions hit you harder further down the line.
Consider speaking to a therapist
There is no timeline for grieving, and the chances are that you will have both good and bad days over the coming weeks and months. You can make this time a little easier, however, by speaking to an experienced therapist or counsellor.
This is because they can help you to find a healthy outlet for your emotions, while also giving you the chance to talk candidly about how you are feeling. As a result, you will likely feel as though a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders at the end of each session, even if opening up takes some getting used to.
Alternatively, you may want to join a support group for other people in a situation similar to your own. This will provide you with a sense of community which can be incredibly uplifting, especially as they understand your pain.
Deal with any legal matters
If you have been named the executor of your loved one’s estate, or need to dispute their will, then you may have a long road ahead of you. This can be incredibly daunting, especially on top of everything else you are currently dealing with. Fortunately, it does not have to be.
Reaching out to an experienced lawyer can ease your burden quite significantly. This is because they will ensure that your best interests are protected during any legal procedures, while also being able to answer any questions you might have. This way, you can navigate your way through the process with minimal stress and confusion.
Generally speaking, the sooner you deal with these legal matters, the better.
Help with the funeral planning
Helping with planning the funeral or celebration of life for your loved one can also be incredibly cathartic during this time. This is because it gives you the chance to honor their memory and say goodbye, which can give you a sense of closure, especially if their passing was unexpected. There are many different ways in which you can help with the funeral planning, from helping find a suitable venue to liaising with caterers.
Find ways to honor the memory
Finding ways to honor your loved one’s memory can also provide you with a healthy outlet for your grief. This is because it allows you to celebrate their life and the happy memories you shared together.
Again, there are many ways in which you can set about achieving this goal. For example, you could participate in their favorite hobby, cook their favorite meal, or even donate to a charity that was close to their heart.
Accept help from those around you
While you may feel as though you have everything under control, there’s no shame in asking for or accepting help from those around you during this time. Remember, they’ll likely want to show up for you in the same way you’d show up for them in this scenario.
Take time off work
While you may be anxious about the idea of taking time off work, companies offer bereavement leave for a reason. Dealing with both the legalities and the emotional fallout of grief is incredibly overwhelming, and you will be unlikely to work to the best of your ability during this time anyway. For this reason, do not be afraid to ask for time off should you need it.
If you are dealing with the loss of someone you were incredibly close to, you may also want to discuss a phased return with your boss. This way, you will not feel too daunted by the concept of returning to your usual routine, and can transition back to normalcy when you feel ready to do so.
Remember that grief is not linear
As mentioned above, grief is something that ebbs and flows. This means that there’s no set timeline for feeling better, and some days/weeks will be easier than others. Keeping this in mind will give you the chance to properly acknowledge your feelings as opposed to feeling as though something is wrong with you for still feeling this way.
Talk about them often
When we lose a loved one, we do not lose the memories we shared with them. You can, therefore, keep their spirit alive, and find some solace for your grief by talking about them with others. Sharing stories and happy memories is something you should do often!
Final thoughts
When dealing with grief and loss, it is easy to feel as though there’s no way out. However, the truth is that this is something that will get easier with time. By following the steps outlined above, you will soon find that the thought of your loved one will bring a smile to your face instead of tears.
Give yourself time and remember that things will get better.