How to Take Back Control When Faced with Infertility

Having a baby was always part of your plan.

Having your own family was always part of your plan.

Having to consider options like using another woman’s eggs to achieve this was never part of your plan.

Make Your Fertility Options Work for You

Infertility can leave you feeling out of control. It can feel as though you’ve been derailed in your ambitions for the perfect family; add the current pandemic into the mix, and it can feel like nothing will go according to your plan anymore.

Thankfully, there are simple ways you can take back control of your fertility journey

Here’s how you do it.

Make Your Fertility Options Work for You

One aspect of your life that you may feel like you’ve lost control over of is your time. From frequent visits to your fertility specialist to having to take medication at certain times of the day, it can feel like your entire schedule has been thrown off course.

It’s time to take control of your schedule again.

Start by blocking off time for your clinic appointments on your schedule, and then look at how you can fit in all the things you love to do. Pencil in a date night with your partner, a gym session, a relaxing night on the sofa, and so on.

How to Take Back Control When Faced with Infertility

Seeing everything written down in front of you will make you feel more in control of your time again. Yes, you may have to rearrange your schedule if something unexpected comes up—but you shouldn’t feel like your fertility appointments have taken over your life completely.

In fact, did you know there are fertility options that can work with your schedule?

Frozen donor egg treatment is a great example.

Because the frozen donor egg process is dependent on your cycle alone, it enables you to dictate exactly when you want your treatment to begin and when you hope to conceive. Let’s face it, most natural pregnancies aren’t that organised!

Take Your Time When Making Those All-Important Decisions

Another factor that can add to the stress of infertility is feeling like you’re being pressured into making decisions.

Never make important decisions because you feel you have to. You should only make these decisions when and because you want to.

Choosing your donor is a crucial step in the egg donation process. That’s why it may take weeks or even months to find your ideal donor. From considering family members and friends who are keen to help to searching through a donor egg bank database for someone who feels ‘right’, it can take time to feel 100% comfortable with your choice.

Enjoy Time for You, Even If That Means Cancelling Commitments

When you’re undergoing fertility treatment, it’s vital for you to feel like you have enough time to reflect, recharge, and relax. Taking on too much and rushing from one commitment to another can take its toll on you—mentally and physically.

Look back at the schedule you’ve created and pencil in some ‘you’ time. Whether it’s as simple as enjoying a nice relaxing bath or an entire weekend off visiting family, don’t be afraid to cancel commitments if you feel you need time for yourself.

Does everything still feel like it’s too much to tackle on your own?

Don’t be afraid to ask others for support. Receiving help from loved ones with simple chores and shopping can help immensely. Further, chatting through your decisions and concerns with friends and family members – or even a counsellor – could be just what you need. 

This Is Your Pregnancy, Your Body, Your Choice

Ultimately, taking back control during this important time in your life is all about finding ‘you’ again. Having focused so long on getting pregnant, it can be hard to refocus back on yourself and your needs.

However, reviewing what you want and how you can feel in control again—even if that means taking time out for yourself by saying no to commitments—can lead to a much more successful fertility treatment and pregnancy.


Not only do experts suggest that stress can increase the time it takes to get pregnant by up to 29 percent, they also warn being stressed throughout your pregnancy may impact the growth of your fetus.

By feeling more in control of your life again, you’ll enjoy a better mindset, which in turn will boost your physical and mental health. Following these tips will help you experience more enjoyment during your pregnancy and beyond, as well. After all, the ability to organise, feel in control, and take time out for yourself when you have a baby or toddler is something all mothers dream of!

rachel bustin
Thank you for sharing

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