Hello, welcome back to this week’s New Mum Stories. I am delighted to share with you Cherry from over at The Newby Tribe ‘s New Mum Story. This is a wonderful story with a difference.
Over To You Cherry…
My story of being a new mum is a little different from most. Some of it is the same – we experienced the same anxieties, the same sleepless nights wondering what life would be like when it was no longer the two of us, the same mad shopping sprees to make sure that the bedroom was sorted and we read hundreds upon hundreds of books and articles all of which, I have since decided, are put out to make you feel more worried than ever before about this huge undertaking you are embarking on! The difference is, when I became a new mum, I skipped the birth, the feeding, the weaning, the potty training, the napping, the learning to walk and learning to talk stages and headed straight for the terrible threes and school runs!
I became a new mum when my two adopted children (aged 3 and 5) came home in July 2015. We hadn’t expected to go down the adoption route, fully expecting that after a year or so of marriage we would fall pregnant and have birth children. This didn’t pan out as expected and after one attempt at IVF (during which I was an absolute nightmare to live with, hence only the one attempt) we decided that we desperately wanted a family so adoption was the way for us.
The thing about adopting is, you never know what it is going to be like. No matter how many books you read or people you talk to, adopting any child but particularly an older child is a completely different ball game for each person, and we had no idea what life was about to throw at us!
I look back now at those first months when I was a new mum and seriously wonder how on earth I got through. The children came home in the middle of July, and because my husband’s adoption leave was used up for introductions (which took 3 weeks), by the time they came home he had to go back to work. I vividly remember the panic I felt on the first morning when it was just me, and essentially two little strangers. How on earth was I going to occupy them all day long? Where could we go? What did they like or dislike doing? What foods did they like? We were all up by 7am, sitting in the living room looking at each other and desperately trying to figure out how we could become a family.
Looking back I think the worst part was that I didn’t have a support group to rely on. We hadn’t attended an antenatal group, we couldn’t go to baby massage, or playgroups, or toddler music groups or preschool groups. We couldn’t join anything because at 5 my daughter was too old. I had no mum friends, we had no friends with children of the same age – it was literally just us. So we spent the 7 weeks of the summer holiday trying to figure each other out. Trying to work out how to soothe temper tantrums, how to make the children feel safe, how to help them play and how to help them trust us. It was one hard summer holiday!
Thankfully, almost 15 months later, we have got most of it figured out. I no longer feel like a new mum, and the daily challenges we have are the same as other families. Adoption is a truly wonderful thing, but those first months as a new mum? I’m really glad they are over!
Thanks Cherry for sharing your New Mum Story with us. I wish you lots of happiness with your beautiful family.
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