As of late, there’s been a fair amount of discourse surrounding the “iPad parenting” method of raising children. Of course, placing a screen in front of our kids just to placate and pacify them is never a healthy idea, but does that mean there’s no use for it? After all, children who watch television shows or educational programs aren’t necessarily being damaged, provided this is kept to appropriate sessions and isn’t a morning-to-night experience.
Sometimes, as parents, we need to tend to many different roles and responsibilities with and without our household, and that also means learning to balance our energies. Allowing our children to watch television while we cook dinner or perhaps play on our phones in a restaurant while we wait for food to arrive isn’t a bad parenting strategy, but it does mean not relying on those methods 100% of the time, at any and all moments of the day.
So, how might we give ourselves a break as a parent without causing damage in this way? Let’s consider that below:
Consider “Offline” Entertainment
As parents, we tend to view our day as a whirlwind of tasks to complete, but children rarely have such a busy schedule. As such, a lot of kids are just bored and looking for something fun to do. If you provide them with a few options that don’t involve screens, they’re usually happy to try them. Having a few toys that encourage creativity or imagination, like building blocks, puzzles, or even a box of random arts and crafts supplies can be a good place to start if you want to counterbalance their screen time.
Of course, books are another solid choice. You could read to them, or if they’re old enough, let them thumb through picture books on their own. Audiobooks can also work as a nice middle ground, giving them a story to focus on without the flashing lights and sounds of a screen. If you’re feeling really adventurous, suggest a scavenger hunt around the house or garden—it’s surprising how much time that can keep them busy.
Shift Them Towards Healthier Games
It’s fair to say that not all screen time is as healthy as other screen time. There’s a reason we don’t show our children films with more mature themes than they can handle, for example. Moreover, there’s a big difference between mindlessly watching YouTube videos for hours and playing a well-designed, educational game that helps kids learn new skills while still having fun. Even classics like teaching a teen chess or Mahjong can inspire them to practice their skills online.
As such, if your child is going to use a tablet or computer, guide them toward games that are a bit more mentally stimulating. These can be fun but also teach problem-solving, logic, or even help with reading and numbers too. Thankfully, there have been many (sometimes even government-funded) options to help you with this.
For example, Endless Alphabet for younger kids, or Prodigy for slightly older ones, which makes math practice feel like an adventure and can keep them feeling like actually playing these games is fun and not just homework. These games give kids something to focus on and work through, without it feeling like they’re just zoning out in front of a screen. Again, that’s not to say them watching their favorite show or playing Minecraft is a bad thing at all, but it can be nice to counterbalance such experiences now and again on top of that.
Find Relaxing Hobbies You Can Both Do Together
When you have the time for it, relaxing in line with your child can help you take that load off while also helping them feel engaged too. You don’t have to spend money on this hobby either, as comforts like drawing, knitting, or even baking together can be very cheap and become lovely skills to share. These can be practices they may love and even keep up with for years, even well into adulthood.
This also gives you something of a break as a parent – you don’t have to spend ages coming up with big events to go to at the weekend or feeling like every waking moment of your day has to be spent entertaining your little one, but when you do, it will be nurturing and restorative for them to build those memories alongside you.
Don’t Aim For Perfection 100% Of The Time
Here’s another truth – parenting isn’t about getting everything right all the time. Thankfully, there’s no way you could achieve that either, and so it’s best to be mindful about your responsibilities right now. Many parents, especially first time parents, fall into the trap of feeling like they have to be perfect, but honestly, no one is. If you occasionally hand over a screen to keep your child busy while you finish some work or get through a tough day, that’s okay. You’re not irreparably damaging your child.
Just limit the harm that may be possible. For example, if your child likes watching YouTube, make sure that you check which channels they’re watching, if the content is suitable for kids, their screen time allowance, and other website or parental filters you wish to set – like making sure they never see references to alcohol online. You can also review this when possible because not all filters catch all things.
Share The Load With Other, Trusted Parents
Another consideration about parenthood is that it doesn’t have to be a solely solo venture. No one ever said parenting had to be a singular effort you never share, in fact they say “it takes a village” for that entire reason.
If you’ve got friends or family members who are also raising kids, lean on them from time to time. Maybe you can set up a playdate so the kids can keep each other busy for a few hours, giving you all a break. If you trust the other parents, perhaps you can swap babysitting duties every now and then or plan the school run so each person drives on alternating days. This way, your child gets to interact with others, and you get some much-needed time for yourself.
With this advice, we hope you can give yourself a little more of a break during the parental process.