It is all too easy to slip into the same routine if you’ve been together for a while. When you have children, they usually come before anything else, which can mean that things like intimacy slip by the wayside.
It’s not on purpose, and most of the time, you might not even notice that it is happening until things feel a little off. One of the biggest things that happen when it comes to intimacy is that the once very strong connection can feel like it’s not the same anymore.
Although we often think of intimacy in just one way, many different small things make up intimacy.
So if you want to kick that connection back into touch, then here are a couple of things that can help you feel at one with your significant other once again.
Photo by Camden & Hailey George on Unsplash
Appreciation
If you don’t feel appreciated and show appreciation, it can feel like everything you do or your partner is doing goes unnoticed.
There is a lot that goes into running a happy, clean, and healthy household. Unfortunately, resentment can sneak in when you stop saying thank you for the little things, like hanging out the washing, cleaning up after the kids, or any other odd jobs.
While the household chores should be shared, it is still important to give and receive thanks for what we do.
It’s not just about what you or your partner is doing for the household. It can be appreciated how they always carry the bags after grocery shopping or how they make you a morning coffee.
Think about the small things and appreciate them in a bigger way.
New things
When you always do the same things, they can become a little stale even if they are fun. Trying new things together can unlock new hobbies and interests that you can share. When you both step out of your comfort zone together, you can feel a sense of adventure and be totally at ease and safe while you do it.
The same idea works in the bedroom, too. Trying new things can bring back spark and comfort, and many couples use simple intimacy tools to explore gently. For example, these days, Tracy’s Dog AI Collection has become popular for helping couples try something new without pressure.
Trying new things together creates new stories, too.
Sort Out Any Ailments
Ailments can cause a real lack of intimacy between partners. It could be due to certain body parts causing a lack of confidence, or just general health not being up to scratch. This need not get in the way of partners getting intimate. For example, if you are suffering from the very common Erectile Dysfunction, then that could mean you have a low testosterone level. This is one of the leading causes of a lack of intimacy, but a quick trip to an ED Clinic West Des Moines (or one closer to you) will really benefit you. They will be there to discuss all the available options with you, and before you know it, you’ll be fully confident and enjoying time with your partner.
Physical
There is a lot to be said for something as simple as holding hands or a kiss on the forehead. Those small moments can mean so much. A hug, for example, can do wonders for everyone involved. After about two minutes of a good hug, we get a flood of amazing hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and even a stress reduction.
Even with the best intentions in the world, physical intimacy can become infrequent. So it might be time for you to plan a surprise evening of intimacy, touch and love.
Planning this around children can prove to be a challenge, but call in the grandparents, the favourite aunt or your best friend to watch the children for a few hours so you can reignite that intimacy.
Add a little spice if you feel like it with Bydee Intimates – and dress for the occasion.
Ask questions
But don’t make it feel like the Spanish inquisition – when was the last time you gave an answer other than fine to the question ‘how was your day?’. Conversation can be one of the biggest and more important parts of being intimate.
It allows you and your partner to talk about work, friends, family, themselves – and anything else that is going on with them.
You might be surprised what you learn when you have a little deeper conversation and really tune into what they are saying.
Most of the time, parents will default to talking about who has which recital, the grades, behaviour and cute things that their children are doing. Try to avoid these conversations – you can even set a timer on them if you struggle with this one!
Compliment
Many people struggle with things like self-esteem and confidence, and if that sounds like you or your partner – it’s time to start throwing out compliments like confetti.
Telling someone how attractive, smart, caring, and wonderful they are makes you and them feel good. You don’t have to go overboard if it has been a while; start small. Tell them how great their smile is or how handsome they look in what they are wearing.
Gentle words of praise can make sure that your loved one feels as good as you want them to.
When you and your partner are so busy with life that the hand-holding and soft smiles over morning coffee aren’t happening anymore, then it’s time to take action. Making other people feel great makes us feel great, too – and it can put the spark back in your relationship.
Here are some other great tips that can help you stay connected when you are busy raising terrific humans: How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy When You are a Busy Parent.