New Mum Stories: The Spanish Mom

Hello and welcome back to another Saturday installment of New Mum Stories. This week I’m featuring Estefania from The Spanish Mom. Estefania writes a letter back to her previous self before becoming a mother which I’m sure we can all relate to!

The Spanish Mom

Over to you Estefania..

Lately I’ve been thinking about how my life was before having a baby… It amazes me how clueless I was back then about what it takes to be a mother and how hard it is to take care of a baby. Obviously I’m not an expert now (I’ve only been a mother for three months)  but it is just a fact that you don’t know what you are dealing with until you are muddling through motherhood yourself.

Do I regret any of the decisions that I’ve made in the past few months? Not at all. But there are some things that I definitely would have done differently if I would have known better… So I wonder, if I would have the chance to give myself some piece of advise ahead of time, what would it be? Here’s the letter that I would send to myself:

 letter-to-my-previous-self-the-spanish-mom-mother

Letter to my previous self:

Dear Spanish-Mom-to-be,

You still don’t know it but in a few months from now you are going to get pregnant. Yes, after only a couple of months trying you will hit the jackpot and your life will be turned upside down faster than you think. For this reason, I want you to read these lines carefully and consider seriously what I’m about to tell you:

  1. Nothing compares to the joy of being a mother, but this joy comes together with a lot of work…hard work. Being a mother is not what you see in the movies and the toughest part about taking care of a baby is NOT changing diapers… that’s actually the easiest part! You are going to have to juggle with a million things at the same time while being extremely tired because of the lack of sleep. Don’t worry though, you will learn how strong you are and taking care of your baby will slowly come out naturally.
  2. Remember when you were worried about you not being mother-material because you thought you would get bored? Well, nothing further from reality. Believe me, you won’t get enough of your baby! You will be able to spend hours and hours just looking at him and there will always be something new to discover. Time will fly when you are with him and boredom will be the last word in your vocabulary.
  3. Keep your mind open and go with the flow – I know that planning things make you feel less anxious but you have to learn that there are several aspects that will be out of your control when you become a mother so you need to keep your mind open when the time comes. You may have a lot of plans in your head about your pregnancy, your labor and how you will take care of your baby but there are way too many unknown factors that will push you to do things or make decisions that are unthinkable for you today.
  4. Don’t judge other mothers. Period: In motherhood there’s no black or white, right or wrong; motherhood has a lot of different shades and you (like other moms) deserve being able to choose what best suits you and your baby without being judged. You don’t know the background story of every mom so don’t you ever judge them because they are not breastfeeding or because they decide to have a planned c-section instead of a natural birth. Be supportive and understanding because that’s what a mother needs the most.
  5. Although you won’t judge, there are other people that will – Be strong and don’t let those comments affect you at all. Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter what you do, when you are a mother there will always be someone that won’t agree with your approach and will criticize your decisions. Don’t listen to them and don’t let them bring you down. You will do your best and that’s what matters.
  6. Enjoy your independence while it lasts – Once the little munchkin is born it will no longer be just YOU, it will be YOU and THE BABY. You will be conditioned to his needs and you won’t be able to do whatever you want whenever you want it. I’m even talking about the most basic stuff such as eat, sleep or shower! Don’t worry though, you won’t want to be apart from him anyways so this loss of independence won’t be such a big deal.
  7. Take care of yourself!– You need to take care of yourself first if you want to take care of the baby. The first week of his life will be so hectic and tough that you will be exclusively focused on him to the point that you will even stop eating! I understand that motherhood is so overwhelming that you won’t have the time to think but please, listen to the people around you and take good care of yourself. Leave baby with your husband for a little while and take care of your well-being. If you get sick you won’t be strong enough to take care of the little peanut and this is not what you want.
  8. Let your husband help you and let him be a parent too – You won’t want to be away from your baby more than 5 seconds but you NEED to share your baby with him too. It’s not only about the responsibilities, it’s also about them being able to bond and spend time together. You don’t have to be a super-mom trying to do everything by yourself AND, moreover, you both have to act like a team and enjoy joint parenting in every single sense.
  9. Time flies: Everybody will tell you ‘Enjoy every moment, time flies” and I know that it sounds corny to you today but it is just the truth. So stop rolling your eyes when you hear someone saying it because they are completely right. Caress every single moment with the little munchkin because he will grow from newborn baby to infant, from infant to toddlers in the blink of an eye… Oh! and keep a diary of everything because you will forget the milestones fast. It seems unbelievable that you will forget about the first time he smiled at you or the first time he grabbed your finger… Believe me, everything goes so fast and there are so many things going on at the same time and you have so little sleep that everything will turn into a foggy memory eventually. Keep a diary and the memories will last forever!
  10. Just one more thing before letting you go… don’t over think it. Motherhood is a “learn-as-you-go” experience so just enjoy the ride!

Lots of love…

The Spanish Mom

Thank you Estefania for your beautiful letter.

You can follow The Spanish Mom here on Social Media:

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If you are interested in joining the New Mum Stories series or any have any questions about featuring your story you can contact me at: rachel@rachelbustin.com

I would love to read your stories.

rachelbustin.com

New Mum Stories: What if it’s Not?

Welcome back to another installment of New Mum Stories. This week’s story is from a lovely lady called Helen. Helen contacted me asking if she could write a piece for my blog sharing her story with you all. Her new mum story is rather different from most due to her daughter having additional needs from complications as a newborn.

Over to you Helen

I have to lay my cards on the table from the outset:  I’m a pessimist.  I always have been.   A  glass half empty kind of girl.  However, when I was approaching motherhood I was torn  between my natural instinct to expect the negative and the regular daydreams of cradling  and singing to a fuzzy headed newborn, walking hand in hand with a cherub faced toddler  with ice cream running down their chubby fingers or hearing about the exploits of the school  day with a little one talking at 100mph.

What if it's not?

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New Mum Stories: The Frenchie Mummy

Hello, and welcome to this week’s New Mum Stories from the fabulous Cécile over at The Frenchie Mummy. Cécile shares her feelings with us over her Baba’s operation to repair his faulty heart.

Over to you Cécile

frenchie-mummy

I am not in the right set of mind today. I think it’s pretty obvious with the title of this post really…Frenchie Mummy doesn’t feel like being funny aujourd’hui. She has a lot on her mind and all those horrible ideas are not going anywhere. It’s a shame, vraiment. The day is gorgeous. I could have been out with Baba. But I don’t feel like it.

Tomorrow it the BIG DAY. Le grand jour when it will all happen. As I explained before, Baba has a congenital heart defect called a VSD. He needs surgery to repair his faulty organ. We have been to the hospital yesterday for the pre-op arrangements. It’s been an exhausting and tiring day.

I am already in such a state… And it was only the pre-arrangements before the big day! We haven’t been through anything yet. I am dreading tomorrow. I don’t know how I will cope and if I will be strong enough.

We went to St Thomas’ Hospital at 10am and didn’t leave before 5pm. It was full of emotions. I know my baby is in good hands and the best cardiologists are taking care of him. But it was so depressing to be there and to go through everything: scan, IRM, ECG, blood test…

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New Mum Stories: 3 Girls Mummy

Hello and welcome back to another instalment of New Mum Stories. This week I’m featuring Ashleigh from 3 Girls Mummy. Who tells us about her very quick birth of her younger Irish twin.

 

Over to you Ashleigh

3-girls-birds

I had my youngest of 3 girls just over 7 weeks ago so I have many stories I could tell throughout the years but I’ll not forget the day after I had my youngest.

Smallest (R) was born 13th July 2016. I went into hospital at 8.30am and she was here by 9.50am! Middle (L) was born 14th July 2015. This makes them Irish Twins. There’s one day less than a year between them.

3-girls-mummy

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New Mum Stories: The Little Glitter box

This week’s New Mum Stories is from Charlotte over at The Little Glitter box.

Charlotte tells us about the circumstances surrounding the births of her 3 lovely children. What a brave lady Charlotte is, I’m in awe of you.

The Little Glitter Box

Over To You Charlotte

The first words I hear in the Morning are Mum from 3 little but very different voices. This starts from as early as 5.30 am and this continues…all day long.

My life as mum started on the 21st of June 2009 when I had my daughter Gracie.  She wasn’t exactly planned but I knew I could never lose her. My pregnancy was great apart from suffering from Sciatica in the second trimester. She was born on Fathers day, 4 days early, via an emergency C-Section. She had become distressed and the Doctors realised she was really tiny. She weighed 4 lb 12 oz at 39 weeks, this wasn’t right. I was informed by the surgeon that my placenta had stopped working, around 6 weeks before, no one had any idea why.

Thankfully she was absolutely perfect.

The Little Glitter Box - New Mum Stories

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New Mum Stories: me and b make tea

Hello, and welcome back to the next installment of New Mum Stories. This week’s story is from Emma at me and b make tea.

Emma’s story has made me laugh, but I can understand how you felt at the time and it’s not a laughing matter when you are a new mum! I agree – now I don’t give too hoots what people think!

me and b make tea

 Over to you Emma

No one can prepare you for parenthood. I know it is a complete cliché and to be honest I was sick of people telling me this when I was pregnant. But it is true! It really is haha. Becoming a mum was the single biggest shock to my system. Gone was my independence, gone was a good night’s sleep and gone were those lazy pub lunches on a Sunday afternoon. Well, they aren’t gone gone, they are just different. And not always different in a good way different if you know what I mean. Here I share one of my most memorable new mum moments – it makes me laugh when I look back on that day 🙂

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